Back and Forth
by Butterflies Go BOOM
Summary: A small recollection of Deidara's unknown past. Requests for stories welcome.


BGB: All right, uh, random one-shot on Deidara

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Creek, grooaan.

Creek, grooaan.

Creek, grooaan.

Back and forth.

Back and forth…

Wind in his face. Wind pushing him back.

Leaves rustled in the cool summer night. A soft sound, a comforting sound. Better than most other sounds. A lovely, beautiful, unnoticed sound. Except by him.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Wind whistled past his ears. His hair swung softly, caressing his neck. Like a mother's arms around her son. A mother's arms…

Creek, grooaan.

Creek, grooaan.

Creek, grooaan.

The moon was bright, full. An albino earth being blanketed by thin, gray clouds. Like it was being tucked into bed. Bed…

Back and forth.

Gravel crunched behind him. Instinctively, the six-year-old Deidara twisted his head. He scratched his feet against the gravel beneath him to stop his motion. The swing stopped creeking and groaning. His fists tightened on the ropes. His knuckles shone white in the moonlight.

Nothing was there.

Immediately, he relaxed his grip on the wooden swing's ropes. He let out a shaky sigh of relief.

He looked up at the moon and figured it was time to go home. Time for bed.

Deidara jumped up off the swing and landed lightly on his feet, the gravel hardly moving under his tiny feet. He walked over to the trunk of the tree the swing was attached to and picked up his stuffed penguin in both arms, hugging it against his chest. Slowly, he started walking down the street, the streetlights guiding his way.

A man came stumbling out of a building Deidara knew well. It was the bar. The bar his uncle went to. The man was one of uncle's friends. Deidara could smell the stink of sake he knew so well. He skirted the place his uncle's friend decided would be a good place to throw up, quickening his pace.

A few more blocks down he came to his uncle's apartment building. The lights inside glowed yellow on the dark sidewalk.

Inside, Deidara walked all the way up the stairs to the top floor. He saw his uncle's apartment number and tried the door. It was open. His uncle wasn't home yet.

Another sigh of relief escaped Deidara's mouth and he immediately felt horrible. His uncle wasn't wrong in his ways. Deidara was wrong. Why should he be scared of Uncle? Uncle only did what was fair.

Opening the door, Deidara headed through the main room to the small door on the left. He opened it and walked into his room. His mattress lay on the floor as always as did his pile of clothes. He put on his favorite pajamas, the ones with the dinosaurs on them, and crawled into his bed. He hugged his penguin close and closed his eyes.

_A white light._

_Boom._

_Mommy…_

_Sobbing._

_Pain._

_Mommy…_

The front door opened with a bang. Deidara woke groggily from his confusing dream and heard his uncle's heavy footsteps out in the main room. Deidara's grogginess faded, replaced by fear. He closed his eyes and pretended to sleep.

His door opened and Deidara heard his uncle grunt. The smell of sake wafted in the room, making Deidara wince inside. His uncle was drunk. Really drunk.

The door closed again and his uncle's footsteps went into Uncle's room. Silence.

Deidara shuddered and hugged his penguin closer. He drifted into a light, restless sleep.

School.

Deidara walked quickly to his school. He had to take a preliminary school session just like everyone else before the ninja academy. Simple math, social studies, science, health, reading, writing, and, his favorite, a special class of their choice. He had chosen the art class.

He went in the school and began his boring first half of the day in his class. He saw the eyes of the kids around him glance his way every now and then, before they would start giggling. He tried to ignore it as much as possible. But it still brought hot tears up to his eyes every time one of them made a comment out loud.

"See the weirdo with the penguin? What a baby!"

"He has girly hair!"

"Such a wimp!"

Then there was lunch. He sat all alone at one end of the table, eating his lunch alone. Again, there were the mean comments. Always, the mean comments. And the bullies.

Deidara sat there eating silently, his penguin next to him. A giant shadow suddenly loomed over Deidara. Looking behind him, he saw three boys he knew.

"Lunch money, wussy. Before we knock your brains out again."

"B-But I brought my lunch today, Ryuu. I d-don't have any money…"

Ryuu laughed insanely. His little buddies laughed along, making Deidara shrink back.

"Well then, wussy, we'll just have to take something else, won't we?"

Deidara immediately gripped his penguin defensively.

Ryuu laughed before saying, "Oh, Wussy needs his penguin? Well how about it guys? The penguin? I could use some _stuffing_."

Deidara gripped his penguin tightly but the two other boys grabbed his elbows and wrenched them open straight, making Deidara's penguin fall to the floor. Deidara felt hot tears well up and spill over his cheeks. Ryuu grabbed the penguin and Deidara watched through blurry eyes as he took one wing and ripped it apart from the penguin's body. Deidara choked back a sob. The two boys were still holding his arms.

_Rip._ Another wing.

_Rip rip. _The feet.

_Riiiip. _A giant rip in it's stomach.

_RIP. _It's head.

Ryuu laughed and dropped the remains of the penguin on the ground. White stuffing was everywhere. With the boys still holding his arms, Deidara watched as Ryuu took his apple and cookie. Then, with a mouthful of apple, he said, "Come on, guys. Wussy'll bring lunch money tomorrow."

The boys let go of Deidara and walked away giggling. Deidara wiped his eyes and picked up the remains of his penguin. He set it on the table next to his half-eaten sandwich and tried to hold back the sobs.

The kids were called to come out for recess. Deidara threw out his lunch and gathered up his penguin and walked outside. All the swings were taken, so he sat on the ground by a tree. He looked down at his hands and glared.

"You're what make me different, you stupid hands. You stupid, stupid hands. I hate you. HATE YOU!"

The mouths on his hands just wagged their tongues. He felt the tears coming up again so he shoved them in his pocket. He looked around to see if anyone had heard his outburst. A lone girl on the swing closest to him looked at him, a pitying look on her face. For some reason, that made him even madder at himself. No wonder everyone thought he was a wussy. He was always feeling sorry for himself, being all locked up inside. Tears came up again, only this time of anger. He looked down at the remains of his penguin and picked them up, yelling, and threw them. He watched the white stuffing fly in the air for a moment like tiny clouds before falling. He stomped away from the remains and sat down by the chain link fence, hugging his knees, waiting for recess to be over.

"Can I sit here?"

Deidara looked up from his drawing and saw the girl that had been on the swing.

It was art class and today was a free day. You could choose whatever you wanted to do and just do it. Deidara was drawing a sketch for his clay sculpture idea.

Deidara was overwhelmed for a few moments. Someone wanted to sit by _him?_ The girl kept looking at him, waiting for an answer. Deidara realized his mouth was open. He shut it with a _click_ and nodded quickly, going back to his sketch.

"I saw you outside. Why were you mad?"

Deidara shook his head.

She was silent for a moment.

"Your friends said you were throwing a fit because they wouldn't share their lunch with you…"

Deidara looked up in surprise.

"F-Friends?"

"Yeah," she said, smiling now, "You know, the one with the brown hair? Ryuu, I think his name was?"

Deidara understood. He shook his head and gritted his teeth.

"What's wrong?"

"They aren't my friends. They stole all my lunch. Except my sandwich. And they ripped up…" he paused, and decided not to say that part. He just looked down and went back to his sketch.

"Oh…" she said. She was silent as she watched him draw.

He looked up and saw her. He blushed and covered his drawing with his arm.

"Sorry," she said and looked away.

Deidara felt awkward. He took his arm off his paper and said, "Sorry. You can look. You surprised me."

Her face lit up with a big smile and looked at the drawing.

"Ooooo… That's a really good penguin!"

He smiled, feeling his face grow warm, "Thanks. I'm going to make it out of clay."

"Really? Can you do that? I don't think anyone can make it look that detailed though…"

He smiled bigger and whispered, "Watch me."

He ran over to the supply cupboard and grabbed some white clay. He ran back over to the table where the girl was waiting. He sat down with a small _thunk_ and set the clay on the table. He about to show her when he realized he would have to use his hands. She would see. He shrunk back from it.

"What's wrong? Weren't you going to show me?"

"Um… There's something wrong with my hands…"

She looked at him questioningly.

"Um…" And before he knew what was happening, she had grabbed his hands and thrust them out, palm up. She took a quick intake of breath and stared. Deidara felt himself grow hot and look away, ashamed.

"Th-That was unexpected… Um, anyways, you were saying?"

Deidara looked at her. She was smiling, a little surprised, but smiling. Not a cruel smile. Just a happy and excited one.

"Y-You don't think I-I'm weird…?"

"Well it's weird, I'll admit, but what's wrong with weird?"

Deidara felt a shocked smile spread across on his face.

"A-Alright. Watch."

He put his palm on the clay and waited for it to start chewing the clay. As soon as it did, the girl gasped.

"Um, your mouth is eating the-"

"Sh! Wait!"

The clay was soon gone and his palm-mouth continued to chew. The girl sat there with a shocked expression on her face. Then, the mouth spit the clay out and Deidara closed his hand around it quickly.

When he opened his hand, there lay a perfect replication of the sketch. The penguin stood on his hand, perfectly molded.

"That was so _cool!_" the girl cried.

Deidara smiled.

"That's not all. You know how we learned about chakra in health class? Well when I was real little I learned how to put chakra in the clay."

The girl's mouth was a surprised o.

Immediately after Deidara said that, the penguin started moving around on his hand. Deidara set it down on the table and it walked around. The girl started giggling. Deidara joined in. The two watched the penguin walk around, falling and waving its wings around.

Soon it was time for class to end. It would be time to go home. Deidara put the penguin in his pocket and whispered to the girl to follow him outside after the bell rang. She nodded.

The bell rung and the two friends rushed outside. Deidara grabbed her hand and she followed him out to his favorite spot, the swing on the tree by the pond.

"Wow, it's pretty!" she said.

"Here, stand right there. I need you to stay away from the penguin, OK?"

"OK," she said trustingly.

After the penguin had gone about halfway around the pond, Deidara decided it was far enough.

"Watch the penguin close."

"OK."

Deidara put his hands together in the sign he had been taught by his father before he died last year.

"KATSU!"

The penguin shuddered and then exploded, its bright red and orange colors lasting for half a second before disappearing into a cloud of smoke and debris.

The girl yelped and then laughed.

"That was so cool. I love it," she said, still smiling.

"I love it too," he said, replaying the bright oranges and reds in his mind.

"You know," she said, a new bout of laughter coming over her, "I don't know your name!"

Deidara laughed and he said, "Deidara! You?"

"Saya."

"I like it," Deidara said, smiling.

"Thanks! I like yours too."

They stood there for a minute, looking around.

"Well, I got to get home. My mom will be wondering where I am."

"Ok. I'll see you tomorrow, Saya!" Deidara said, smiling.

"'K Deidara! Bye!"

"Bye!"

Deidara watched her go and as soon as she left he sat on the swing.

Back and forth.

Back and forth.

Back and forth…

Before long, it was time for him to go home.

Arriving at the apartment, he found it locked. His uncle was home. Dread weighed on Deidara's shoulders.

He knocked lightly. Footsteps came pounding to the door. The door opened and his uncle looked down on him, his breath smelling of stale sake once more.

"Good evening, Uncle."

"Get in here, you little bastard."

Deidara obeyed.

In the living room he waited for what his uncle would tell him. He didn't have to wait long.

"Long time, no see. Where have you been, idiot?"

"I was swinging in the park."

"Oh yeah? Is that it? So it's more important to swing than to be home with your Uncle? Huh?"

"No, Uncle."

"Uh-huh. Though so. Well, you little bastard, I'll tell you what. I'll let you off this time…"

Deidara had only a little time to breath a sigh of relief before he felt his uncle's fist punch into his face. He fell to the ground and felt his uncle's shoe dig into his side.

"Next time it'll be worse. Believe me. You're a lucky little bitch tonight. Now go to bed before I decide to punish you some more."

Deidara quickly got up and scurried obediently to his room, tears of pain running down his face. Again, he got into his favorite dinosaur pajamas. He lay down for a while. He couldn't get to sleep without his penguin. His eyes gave way to fresh new tears as he lay there in bed. He once again fell into a light sleep.

The next day at lunch, Deidara sat in his usual spot. He figure Saya would see him sooner or later as he ate. Then maybe he would be safe from Ryuu and his gang. Surely they wouldn't pick on girls.

After a while, it became apparent that Saya wasn't going to come and sit with him. Maybe she had been scared of him after all and hadn't said anything, waiting for a chance to escape him. Maybe he really was unwanted. The thought made him sick to his stomach. He didn't eat his dessert.

Another thing he noticed was that Ryuu and his gang were nowhere to be seen. They had threatened to come back again that day, but it looked like they were no shows. It made Deidara feel a little bit better.

Deidara decided he would find Saya at recess and talk to her; see if she thought he was a freak. Then at least he wouldn't be left wondering.

Deidara went to recess and didn't see Saya anywhere. He looked everywhere. Finally, he saw why no one had picked on him at lunch.

Ryuu was holding Saya by the ponytail, while the boys took her things.

Deidara ran over and lunged at one of the boys. They fell to the ground with a surprised yelp. Something flew out of his hands and onto the ground.

Deidara got up and went for the other boy, who had something in his hands too. It looked like a block of something. He jumped on the boy and his right hand grabbed the block of… _clay._

His palm-mouth chewed it up instinctively and he felt his chakra flow into it. He wasn't sure what he was going to do with it but it made him feel safe.

Next he lunged at Ryuu. But Saya was his shield. Deidara couldn't hurt Ryuu with Saya in the way.

"What do you want, Ryuu?" Deidara nearly yelled.

"To teach you a lesson, wussy."

Ryuu pulled Saya's ponytail and she screamed. Teachers started running over.

The two other boys suddenly jumped from behind Deidara and a fistfight began.

Deidara felt himself get punched in the stomach, ribs, legs, and face. He was growing numb and he felt himself struggling back feebly. He managed to hit one's face and the other's privets. He saw two fingers coming at his left eye and that's the last thing he ever saw with that eye.

Deidara screamed as the finger pulled out of his eye. Blood poured down his face and he clutched at his face. The teachers pulled the two other boys apart and Ryuu from Saya. Saya saw Deidara and screamed. And screamed. And screamed…

Everything went black.

Deidara woke up. He looked around, clutching his eye. He felt the cold metal. He sighed in relief. The dream.

Tobi came in and looked at Deidara.

"Is Sempai alright? Sempai screamed in his sleep."

"I'm fine, Tobi. What time is it?"

"Almost time for the mission, Sempai."

"Alright."

Deidara got his cloak on and got ready. He reminisced on those fateful few hours alone with himself.

When Deidara woke up and could only see with one eye he had screamed and started to cry. The nurses had put him to sleep with sedatives and he had blacked out again.

Later, the next day, he got a present from Saya. It had come in the mail. The note had said, "Sorry about what happened, Deidara. Mom says I can't play with you anymore. But I was able to send you this. Sorry. –Saya."

He had cried softly for a moment and then opened the package. It was his penguin, sewn back together again.

He had fallen asleep, crying, hugging his penguin.

The last thing Deidara remembered was that when he woke up, they had told him his uncle was coming to take him home. He spent another ten years living with his uncle. Then he left the village, becoming a terrorist for hire. He figured he would rid the world of bad people… for money.

Ryuu had been kicked out of the school and he transferred to the Grass Village. Deidara never heard from him again.

Saya never spoke to him again, but she would send him glances every once in a while. He remembered as soon as he had been better, he had sent her a clay penguin. It moved, but would never explode.

"Sempai!"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, un. Let's go already."

"Alright, Sempai. You lead the way!"

With that, Deidara took off, trying to shake off the childhood memories, once and for all.

_Back and forth._

_Back and forth._

_Back and forth…_

The End

Or is it….?


End file.
